First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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