I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
