spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
