It's Friday. Sex?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
