And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Is Oprah even human
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
