Don't you send me to vm
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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