you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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