We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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