I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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