6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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