yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
