Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
