Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
