AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize