She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
