Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
