"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
