In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
