Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
