Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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