Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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