party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
