In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
