did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
