Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
