Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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