She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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