Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
