You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
