He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
