so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
