Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize