I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
