What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
