you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
