Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
