office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So many bounce houses so little time
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
