There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
