I can text with my tongue
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
