I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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