dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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