so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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