The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
