I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
