My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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