we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
