I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Everyone says I win the strip club
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
