I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
