Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
