in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
