Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
