When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
