We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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